Dissonant Identity builds on the themes in What are You? to explore the intersection of race, gender and sexuality.
Dissonant Identity is a work-in-progress theatrical experience that blends storytelling, poetry, and experimental looping cello. It is an intimate exploration of existing beyond the binary—of being both and neither, of belonging everywhere and nowhere.
Nicolette Emanuelle unpacks the strange ways society reacts to an undefinable identity by telling stories from their life accompanied with a layered soundscape. Dissonant Identity invites the audience into a shifting, surreal experience, revealing both the humor and the isolation in never quite fitting into a box.
This is an ongoing work, an evolving conversation.
The Works-In-Progress Presentation of Dissonant Identity
Made possible by a grant from the Regional Arts Commission in St. Louis, the works-in-progress presentation of Dissonant Identity took place on March 23, 2025 at Greenfinch Theater in St. Louis, MO. Here are some highlights:
•Poster for works in progress show:
A written excerpt from the script of Dissonant Identity:
The rage inside is female-
I am nonbinary
I am androgynous
You may have a different opinion based on what you see
But I am didn’t just come from me-
Are you a boy or a girl?
He, him, sir-
But you look so feminine
Sir-mam?
Sir….Sir…..SIR
Are you a man?
Should you even be here?
In my male embodiment people expect me to excel, they expect me to be able to open jars, do flips on stilts, be bold, be good at math, know what to do, take a hit, be assertive, speak straight forward, don’t apologize and contribute at work meetings. Make the first move
In my female embodiment I am expected to make space, let the men carry my belongings, it’s okay if you can’t because you’re a girl, accept I won’t get paid as much, People expect me to fail, to buckle under pressure, to not know the answer, to be less than the man next to me—-
To be less than the man next to me.
So now come the threats- I should be grateful for the attention even if I didn’t want it, I should stop doing my job or working out because it makes you feel less than, I shouldn’t be better than the man next to me because he might take offense-
Meanwhile Society validates my gender and queerness whether or not they mean to-
I’m pretty sure that woman who was so offended I was in the women’s restroom didn’t mean to compliment me by mistaking me for a trans woman.
Or the gay guy that asked me if I was a man while I was wearing a bathing suit and heels….well maybe he did mean it as a compliment.
The children I work with are great- its pretty common for them to ask me if I’m a boy or a girl.
“Are you a boy or a girl”
“What if I told you I’m both?”
“What! What!”
Now I want to be clear- validation is different for everyone- I feel validated by society’s confusion about how to categorize my gender because I don’t view myself as belonging to any one category. But someone else could just as easily and rightfully feel offended that they are indeed a woman through and through but get mistaken for a man because of societies guidelines on what a woman looks like- Most recently we saw this with Olympic Boxer Imane Khelif (Ǐman- Haleaf). And my trans friends have expressed an anxiety over the question “are you a boy or a girl?” because depending on the person asking the question- that can mean life threatening danger.
But if you ask me when I feel most seen? They/them sir, pretty when I’m wearing a cute pink dress and handsome when I’m wearing a suit- but always sir. And fuck I hate being called lady or mam.